Loathing before Midnight
by HatterMadness
Summary: [CLACK YAOI - Do not read if you do not like.] Cloud is beginning his journey in ShinRa, and the Soldier are not making it much easier for the recruits. Failing in so much during training Cloud strives to be come better and wants to be far better than one particular Soldier: Zack Fair. However, the Soldier has other plans to win the blonde as more than a friend. Rated M for later.
1. Dirt and Gin

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own any of the characters, places or subjects listed within these chapters. All rights to claim go to Square Enix.

I adore this pairing and have done since I started roleplaying as Cloud, it's nice to finally get to writing for my OTP as well! Sorry the chapter isn't as brilliant and exciting as it could be: writing at early hours really is a silly idea. However, hopefully you'll enjoy it for a first chapter!

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Blistering cold winds swept across the mud stricken grass, fingertips clawing into the dirt that remained soggy from the dusk rain. Lights were beaming down overhead as groans filled the training grounds, ropes tied from one end to another growing lower and lower as the metres went on.  
"Get lower, maggots!" Screamed the corporal, beckoning to those who were pushing their backs against the ropes strung above them.  
The new recruits were scrambling to the ground at the first rope; the starting line and were crawling, getting lower and lower, until dragging themselves with muddy hands toward the last rope.  
This was training at six in the morning, and not one of them was enjoying it.

"Street rat! Touch the rope one more time and I'll tie it round your throat, you here me?!" Bellowed the tall balding man with greying facial hair which masked his upper lip, chin and jaw.

"Y-Yes sir!" Yelled back the recruit.

They had been at this for two hours already, diving under the ropes and trying to get to the last as quickly as possible (this task among other obstacle training of course). This was not only a test endurance but a test of intelligence.

Most could not figure out the best way to stay below the ropes and not touch them, though some figured it out rather easily. And the slowest, though the surest was able to figure it out the quickest: Cloud Strife.

The blonde petite male with spiked hair and a young face had finally managed to get to the finish, face smeared with mud and almost blinded by the lights - everyone seemed to be in awe at his ability to scurry under the ropes so easily.  
"Sheer luck...", "It's because he's so small!", "I never thought of doing it that way." All were mixed opinions, however it was not theirs that mattered.  
Once all were clear, they stood in formation ready to be addressed by their superior. Some felt disgusting with their muddy appearance, others annoyed at their chosen technique and the rest just wanted to get back to bed as quickly as possible.

"So, you think you did well?" A clear rhetorical question which the man dressed in their clean dark uniform expected an answer to, and to his disappointed got nothing in response.

"Tch..." he sounded with his tongue, standing directly in front of their best recruit; Olivier Caros. "I see you've all learnt not to answer a question that needs no answer... You did shit."

Oh how blunt he was and most even winced at the wording. "You believe that you can become Soldier if it takes you two fucking hours to get through this course?! Two. Fucking. Hours. You're all pathetic!" he spat angrily, his clearly disgusted voice echoing across the grounds.

The male with short scruffy hair nicknamed 'Street rat', better known as Thomas, swallowed heavily and glanced sideways to Cloud with a frown. The pair always were the worst with these types of exams, perhaps that was why there were always put together.

"If you ever believe you can become like the great Sold-"

"WOOHOO!" Screamed a joyful male from the distance; blazing red hair, wearing a shirt and tie in a messy fashion, strolling along the grass with his arm slung around another man who seemed less eager to be there. "Guess who's gonna get laid tonight motherfu-"

"RENO!" roared the corporal. Behind the redhead were four other mean, all of ShinRa though were clearly not as drunk as their friend. "How dare you interrupt a training session. And at this time of morning you stagger here, drunk?!"

"Oh chill out, Harrison, have a drink! I've got plenty!" Reno spoke, stumbling toward the man with an arm outstretched holding a half empty bottle of gin.

"Harrison here-"

"I beg if you're to interrupt, you call me corporal." The gentleman grumbled, clearly giving up on what little achievement any of them had made that morning.

"Oh right, right... CORPORAL Garrison- it sounds better than Harrison, thank me later, doesn't know how to have a good time! See, he hasn't had a good fuck in a few years and that's where I come in."

Within seconds Reno was keeled over, cackling from sheer amusement of his wording. Most had to bite their tongue to hold back laughter and managed to get away with a quiet snigger.

"Come in, cause I can come in his a-"

"Alright, let's get you back before you get shot." interrupted a handsome looking man; hair slicked back and evening wear of a shirt and tie with smart trousers still in perfect order. He wrapped an arm around the redhead and nodded to the corporal in apology, soon leading away the drunk that began singing 'gay bar'.

With a chuckle forward came a male with raven spiked hair, enticingly bright eyes and a perfect build. He gave a handsome smile toward his superior.

"I'm terribly sorry sir, Angeal will get him home." his eyes trailed toward the new recruits and settled on Thomas for a moment; him being the muddiest and looking the most shameful to be in their presence.

"Fresh meat huh? Well this man is one fo the best and that's not just the alcohol talking. I'm Zack Fair, Soldier Second Class, a rank one day maybe all of you will be too. Just don't get into a state like our friend and you won't end up crapping yourselves in combat." he smirked. After another glance down the line, Zack's eyes stopped at Cloud. Cloud was stood at attention like the rest, however his eyes were immediately downcast when the Soldier looked his way. It was an utter embarrassment for their unit to be in such a sorry state... They were head to toe in mud, exhausted and being yelled at for being 'shit' at their training. Sure enough they looked the definition of pathetic and now they were on show like animals.  
Zack smirked, chuckling quietly, before saluting and wandering on his way once more.

Men like them, though preferably sober, were the ones these cadets had to look up to for the next long while they were training. It looked as though they were going to need to get on the corporals good side to get anywhere and to do that was to be the best.

"Yes, well..." The corporal cleared his throat and clapped his hands together, making idle listeners jump. "Off you go to shower and whatnot. Same time tomorrow, be late and be sorry. Dismissed!"

The unit began to disperse simultaneously, Cloud and Thomas lingering at the back of the group to walk together. Thomas scraped some mud from his hands, flicking it to the floor as the pair walked along.

"We did better than last time, right? I mean we were last again... But..."

"But we finished." Cloud smiled reassuringly. "Let's go shower and maybe sleep, then we can go training. We can work hard and get better than I bet we'll be better than those stupid Soldier."

"You bet!" The brunette grinned high-fiving Cloud, happily striding ahead with him with the thoughts of warm showers and beds to greet them.


	2. Lacking Inspiration

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own any of the characters, places or subjects listed within these chapters. All rights to claim go to Square Enix.

Hopefully this chapter is a little more enjoyable, there's plenty more to come! Thank you for the follows and review already, it's great feedback! -Happydance-

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The changing room filled with wooden benches and grey metal lockers began to steam up as drenched bodies filtered back in to change into a clean uniform. Some were displaying themselves as bare as the day as they were born and others had the more covered up approach of a towel covering their dignity.  
Laughter filled as a few chased each other around with clean white towels, whipping the person ahead and falling over in the process. Bathroom antics were always a great end to training and it seemed just like a friendly bit of fun.

"It takes the piss that we have to be up at stupid hours of the morning for this... I know they say that the early bird gets the worm, but we just get a bald guy shouting at us." Grumbled Thomas, wiping up and down his arms with his towel, hardly paying attention to the fact he was stark naked with Cloud sitting directly in front of him.

The blonde grabbed his own towel and threw it directly at Thomas' crotch having pulled on his boxers to cover himself.

"I don't think it's that bad... And it's Thursday, so one more morning then we can rest for the weekend." He grinned brightly. The pair had plans to train and study for the entire weekend, however it was pure luxury to know that they were able to do that at their own accord.

Thomas kicked Cloud's towel that had fallen to the floor after colliding with him and inhaled deeply; smelling only the steam from the showers and scent of mint shampoo and cheap cologne.

"True. Hey, some guys are going drinking tomorrow night. Do you wanna come too?" He asked, knowing that the answer would immediately be "No." voiced by the blonde.

"C'mon, we've worked our asses off! We deserve at least one night."

"But then that's one day lost to hangovers which we could have had training and trying to do well!" Cloud argued, frowning. "You always say we need to try and be better so we're not last, and-"

"Okay, I get it! No alcohol. Hard-core work." The brunette cut him off. Oh how Cloud complained constantly when he knew they were slacking. Even in the evenings when it came to reading time he managed to complain that Thomas was idly staring into space than the words on a page.

The pair continued changing in silence, Thomas admitting defeat in the subject of a night out and Cloud simply not willing to bring up any more pointless subject that might lead to them talking about slacking in training.

"Hey, I don't know about you," said Thomas as they were leaving the changing rooms "but I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep now. Breakfast?" but without giving Cloud a chance to respond, he had linked their arms and dragged the blonde into the dining hall. They could not say that they did not get to have a luxurious breakfast in the mornings. A full English including hash browns, beans, bacon, eggs, toast, sausages, black pudding, you name it. Breakfast was the most important and probably the best meal of the day.

The food was piled onto their plates and Cloud immediately stared at the plate as though it was going to come alive and eat him. Never could he eat so much, but Thomas seemed more than happy to help him out with both their shares.

The majority of the hall was empty apart from a few Soldier nursing their hangovers in the corner and some new recruits that had, rather than showering with rest, decided to simple wipe off the mud on their clothes and get breakfast before the other cadets.  
They chose a table between the middle of the hall and the entrance, it was empty and there was no one occupying the surrounding tables so they had a chance to eat in peace. Well, almost.

Cloud pulled out a book from his bag and placed it between the pair on the table. Thomas was halfway to shovelling an overflowing forkful of egg, toast and beans into his mouth when he noticed what Cloud was doing. "You're joking if you're going to study now."

"It's really cool, I mean it!" He exclaimed, opening the book and flattening it out at a page full of war pictures and writing. "Look, these are all tales of old Soldier. Not from ShinRa, but from all over. Like, uh... This one!" He pointed to a sepia picture of a man with a neatly trimmed moustache and beautifully designed uniform in a light colour (they supposed it to be white from the colouring in the picture) full of medals and badges awarded to him. He held a hat to his chest and stood triumphantly with a sword in hand.

"I've read all about him. He ran away from home to join the military career at seventeen." he pointed to a paragraph of writing. "See, he was like us, really bad in his classes but after a war he was knighted for how good a duty he had done. He killed almost seventy people with just a sword, no Chocobo and no back up."

"Woah..." Thomas breathed, putting down the fork and craning his neck to read the text further. "So he was like a hero?"

"Yeah." Cloud smiled, cutting up a piece of sausage and stabbing it with his fork before eating it. "But then he died from a battle wound and they didn't find out until after he died that he killed his family before joining up."

Looking up at Cloud quickly, Thomas almost dropped his fork and stared with wide eyes. How could such a thing go amiss? Rather than asking, he simply went back to eating and allowed Cloud to carry on giving him a history lesson on all the 'great heroes' they could relate to.

"I fucking hate tequila..." Grumbled a certain red head as he strolled through the doors, nursing his hangover with a bottle of water. "Who's idea was it to go out last night?!"

"Yours." responded Angeal with a less than pleased expression. He and his friend, Genesis (another Soldier), had spent a sleepless night and morning looking after Reno as he threw up the contents of alcohol he had consumed on their evening out. Reno being the only one not to sober up at all was now the one to suffer and Angeal was making sure that he would suffer the consequences entirely, and that included not sleeping.

"You take the piss Angeal, you know that? I could be in bed!" he yelled easily catching the attention of some of the cadets who laughed at the state he was in. "Next time we go out, I'm making sure you get pissed and suffer."

"Psssht, Angeal has more sense than you." Zack laughed as he entered behind Angel and Genesis, the group now dressed in their daily apparel of a Soldier uniform, though Reno still wearing his clothing from the night before. "And it was you who challenged that tough guy to a drinking contest."

"Shut the fuck up..." The hung-over male grumbled, frowning and grabbing a tray to get breakfast. He was sure to not forget about this day.

Laughter from the right of their group caught Zack's attention and he was supposing it were more cadet's finding hilarity in Reno's state. Catching his eye instead was Cloud and Thomas sitting there with, now, more than one open book. The pair seemed to be enjoying themselves in reading about these heroes of past generations.

With a grin he nudged Angeal and announced his momentary departure, the enticing smell of a cooked breakfast did not interest him nearly as much a boy that did not want his attention, or it seemed he did not.

Within seconds he stood at the end of the cadet's table with both arms across his chest. "You two sure clean up good." Zack said with a grin, glancing between the pair and then to the books.

"Hi, Zack..." Thomas said quite nervously, almost standing to salute until he noticed that Zack's attention was on their books than themselves. It seemed almost pathetic for them to be reading like this at breakfast now. The raven haired man pulled a chair round, sitting with it's back against the table and him straddling it. He leant on the back and gave Cloud a confident grin.

"Must be some pretty cool books if you're this intent on reading them when there's food about."

"Yeah." Cloud responded quite bluntly. There was just something about the Soldier that Cloud did not like, and something about him that he did. Zack was handsome, a possible hero to anyone he had been on a mission for, and he was nicely sociable. All around he seemed like a great guy.

"C'mon, didn't you get any inspiration seeing us this morning?" Zack asked with a laugh. And there was the negative about him: he seemed far too stuck up even for a joke, and that was not to Cloud's liking.

"You mean wandering round smelling of cheap perfume and alcohol? Real inspiring..." he mumbled, still not daring to move his eyes from the book and look at the Soldier. It seemed he could only be confident in his words when he did not look at the person, and that was a downfall of his.

Thomas stared from Zack to Cloud, opening his mouth to say something but closing it again quite quickly when he knew he would not help the situation.

Sensing this hostility, Zack raised a brow and leant back from the table. "Woah, do you know who you're talking to?"

"Yeah, a Soldier who's priorities are elsewhere than his duty."

"My priorities are just fine, what's with that attitude, kid? Did you get dragged here or something? You're too scrawny to just join up by free will anyway.

Those words seemed to really hit home when the blonde stared up at Zack with a hurt expression. Had he really just said that to him? Cloud let an awkward moment of silence pass before he went to open his mouth, and at that second he cut short by some more cadet's coming to join the pair for breakfast.

The three looked up at the group of five joining the cadet's and Soldier, at which point Zack expected Cloud to come up with a confident answer that would start a screaming match between them.

"I guess..." he began, looking at Zack one final time. "We all have our own priorities." Cloud spoke quite quietly and clearly unconfidently which threw the raven haired youth off guard. The pair continued staring at each others eyes that had grown somewhat dark in those matter of seconds, and Zack slowly slid his chair away as he stood up. Nothing more needed to be said other than he was leaving, and in a very pissed mood. He had been spoken to wrongly by a low-life cadet, one that he intended on making life very hard for if these types of antics continued.

After he had left, Cloud frowned at Thomas who just shrugged and went back to eating breakfast - this could have very well meant war between the cadet and Soldier ranks.


	3. Answer Me

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own any of the characters, places or subjects listed within these chapters. All rights to claim go to Square Enix.

My apologies for such a late chapter, I have been very busy with work and such. My writing is definitely lacking (thank you writers block...) however I have done my best!

I was asked why Zack is portrayed as quite obnoxious in this fanfic, I wanted to make a little bit of a background between Cloud and Zack otherwise it would rush into things a little quickly if I'm honest. No friendship starts out perfectly and this makes it (in my opinion) a little more interesting to how things mend.

Enjoy.

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Being given thin shirts and a poor excuse of an under layer the recruits continued to feel the cold breeze that blew in from the opening and closing doors of the building. Of course they had the option to remain in the cafeteria where warmth surrounded them, however with the need of moving between classes they had no choice but to leave their comfort zone rather frequently.

"Shit happens, you know? You gotta start at the bottom and work your way up." complained a cadet, with choppy blonde hair and his fringe covering his left eye. They had been conversing about their previous class, another class to test their speed and wit.

"They're trying to see how well we cope in these conditions I bet... See who breaks first." replied another from the friendship group, a stocky brunette with a thick highland accent. "Cloud, how in the name of Gaia are you not freezing?" he asked the small blonde who walked along with the group, having rolled up his sleeves to avoid becoming too warm.

"I'm from Nibelheim, the weather is usually worse than this by now." Cloud chuckled happily. It was nice to be in benefit that he could handle the cold better than others and hoped that would work in his favour at some point. He figured that the stocky male, Conall, would have also been used to these types of conditions; however it seemed the other had lived a rather cushioned life up until now.

"Whatever..." Conall responded in a miserable tone.

The group walked along with most continuing to complain about their chilly state and headed off into a training hall for the cadets. It had been a few hours since breakfast so they were feeling less sluggish than they had when they were full and were raring to get out into the battlefield, at least until one specific cadet caught a glimpse of who would be teaching them.

The first group were leaving the hall as Cloud, Thomas, Conall and the scruffy blonde, Ewen, arrived for their turn in the class. Everyone leaving seemed to be quite impressed with how they had been educated and enjoyed sharing their views on their teachers as well. Even though they were sweating and in dire need of refreshments they seemed quite pleased with their day so far, and it created a buzzing atmosphere for the rest.

One by one the cadets filtered into the hall; boot clad feet treading the floors and echoing the mismatched steps, mutters of anticipation and wonder, plus the chatter of three SOLDIER analysing each appearance in a guess on who would cope.

Immediately Cloud recognised the three faces; a red haired male wearing sunglasses and a rather grumpy expression as he nursed his hangover with the same bottle of water, however it seemed that the group had allowed him to change clothes after breakfast. To his left stood a tall and handsome SOLDIER with hair slicked back and a stern expression, arms folded in the same manner as when Cloud had last seen him and a sword on his back. Lastly, to the man's right, came the most obnoxious of the trio and the one that Cloud had dreaded to see most. Zack Fair.

Stood in a group with intrigued expressions and a stance that showed them ready to learn, the cadets awaited their superior to begin instructing; it would be a test of strength and will power which seemed to be something that Cloud and Thomas particularly lacked in.

"Good afternoon, and welcome to your first class for training. We'll be testing your strength, teaching you how to train and build yourselves up for what goes on outside of this building." spoke the male in the middle with a raised voice and arms now displayed neatly at his sides. All eyes were on him, not a single voice could be heard and not one cadet shuffled their feet in the nervous silence. "My name is Angeal, this," his right arm moved with his palm faced up, indicating to the male on his right, "is Reno." however Reno did not respond well with his name. He grumbled a greeting after taking a sip of his water and held a hand to his head. "Why the fuck am I here..." he uttered unhappily. Angel scowled at the red head to show how displeased he was with his hungover antics, though he still continued by then raising his left arm to indicate to Zack. "And this, is Zack.", the second indicated male stepped foward with a grin and saluted to the group. His eyes cast around the room and eventually settled on Cloud just as they did before and he seemed somewhat pleased to see him there.

"Welcome, for some of you this will be a nice and easy work out, and for others it will be hell." He smirked, eyes fixed on Cloud as he spoke the last few words. Zack had every intention to make this as hard as possible and it was simple to give pay back to Cloud with this class, he wanted to make it absolute clear that no one embarrassed a SOLDIER and got away with it.

After simple instructions of standing in rows of ten, the class began. It started with a very simple warm up of stretching; followed by jogging on the spot, followed by lifting weights throughout numerous stances. Cloud, to Zack's surprise, did not struggle throughout these tasks in fact he embraced them as though they were his job. On the other hand, Cloud knew that the SOLDIER's plan was to destroy him mentally and perhaps even physically, though he refused to fall to someone so obnoxious.

"Pick up the pace." Angeal's voice echoed throughout the hall filled with those familiar groans of anticipation and struggle from their exercise; the thirty were now to do squats, and soon enough they were doing push ups which was sure to make or break Cloud Strife.

"Too hard for you?" Zack asked, crouching to the blonde who sweat from their exercising, hands pushing hard as they could to lift his body weight from the wood flooring.

"No." he responded through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry, no, what?" The raven haired male's tone was almost as vicious as it was amused. He loved to watch someone struggle and fight for their own reputation.

"No, sir."

"That's better. Let's see how this works." Zack spoke, placing a small but heavy weight onto Cloud's back. It was evident that Cloud had begun to struggle further with it weighing him down, though that would not bring him down. Most cadet's had given up by this point and were now shaking from exhaustion but that did not stop their eyes focusing on the determined blonde and his mentor.

"Better?" He asked, weighing another weight in hand with a smirk. Zack knew how to teach someone a lesson, and this was exactly it.

"Y-Yes, sir..." Cloud managed to say with his shaking voice and sharp exhales, he knew this was beginning to be too much for him to endure. His strength was finally to be tested as his superior placed the second weight on top of the other; Angeal watched from the sidelines with interest. He never had approved of payback like lowering to such a childish level by making people struggle, his interest was simply in how strong such a small cadet could be. It would certainly determine how he would do in this career.

"How about now?" He asked again, however Cloud could not answer. Never had he found himself at such a disadvantage and now he could feel his muscles straining and tearing within him.

_"Just five more..." _The blonde thought, clenching his eyes shut and groaning quietly from the pressure.

"Answer me." Zack snapped when Cloud did not respond. _"Just four more..."_ he repeated to himself as he moved in that slow rhythm but not responding yet again. _"Three-"_ but with that third push up he allowed himself left, he felt his body crumble from the weight on top of him.

The SOLDIER had placed his boot clad foot on top of the weights and begun to push down with his own weight, causing the cadet to collapse not only from the pressure but the exhaustion as well.

Tired upright men stared in awe and shook their heads, others scoffing in assumption that it was not as bad as Cloud had made it look.

"Stupid kid." Muttered the raven haired male who kicked the weights from Cloud, walking away; he had triumphed in embarrassing the cadet. His blood was now boiling, body pulsing with that racing heartbeat and rage rushing beneath that tired exterior, Cloud had finally snapped. How could someone they were supposed to be looking up to be such a jackass?

"Stupid?!" He yelled as he scrambled to his feet and kicked one of the weights out of the way with such force it almost lifted from the floor to fly in Zack's direction. "Just because I think you're obnoxious?!"

"Cadet." Angeal interrupted, eyes focused on Zack and lips pursed as the cadet decided to continue. Zack had turned to watch such a determined sight turn into what could potentially become a very quick end to a starting career.

"You did this just because I don't look up to you, why would I ever look up to such an asshole!" Now all eyes were on Zack. He had turned to walk toward Cloud, fists clench and an angry expression plastered across his face. As steps broke the silence and hearts stopped momentarily in the room, Angel broke into a sprint to come between the disagreeing pair.

"That's quite enough." the man growled at Zack, eyes casting onto Cloud who seemed to have realised that all he had said was more out of line than he had expected from himself. "You're dismissed, cadet. You will return here tonight for punishment." Angeal's voice seemed to be full of disappointment, how a cadet with such determination lower to a level that could only be described as weak was unnacceptable. "You should never rise to your superior no matter what the occasion, you will be dealt with appropriately this evening."

Without another word Cloud began to leave the room and every eye followed him on his way; the door swung open as he pulled it and he left in a shamed silence. His heart had sunk as he reminded himself of the taunting voices from his home, the disappointed faces... All their taunts and predictions were probable to come true; going from cadet to failure.

Angeal inhaled deeply as all eyes turned to him, his own meeting the Cadet's one by one in turn.

"Back to jogging." He instructed and not one person hesitated to get started, there was no room for any more disappointed in their class.

Arms folding across his chest and tensing entirely, Zack's eyes soon met Angeal's as the pair looked at each other simultaneously. Never before had he seen that look in his mentor's eye; the look of disappointment and disapproval, had he really shamed Angeal with what had happened?

Zack's superior shook his head slowly and turned to the cadet's once again, the mood had settled to an awkward state and now it was a wonder if the blonde would be able to continue on with his journey at ShinRa. Patience was a virtue but it was also going to be agonising should Zack face a penalty for their actions, he had no intention in disappointing his mentor again.


End file.
